The tension of a father - Parenting not easy again

The day started good as hubby was at home. Weekends are always good. There is someone to tackle my son. Saturday, the whole family took a walk and crossed the border of Switzerland, entered Germany for shopping. After busting hubby's wallet, I returned so happily dragging my shopping cart. My hubby walked along with my son.

Suddenly my son picked a big stone from the side and asked his dad, "Acchaa, ee kallinae aa valliya carilaikku eriyattae?" which means, dad shall I threw this stone on that big car? His dad was shocked and replied "Monu, acchannukku police station puvaan theer thalpariyamillaa (Monu, dad have no interest for a ride to police station). So, let us drop the plan of pelting stone". My son couldn't understand the relation between the stone and police. So he asked why. My husband replied him that a big police uncle will come and take him if he damages others property.

My son threw the big stone away and picked a small one now. He asked his dad, "Now this is small stone only. I will throw in a small car. Is that OK?" My husband was so nervous that his son may threw the stone any moment before his explanation. So he said, the police uncle will come even for small stone. My son quickly replied, "For small stone, only small police uncle will come. Can't you manage even him". My husband turned dumb and looked at me for help.

I was in no mood to help, as I rarely get chances to enjoy, seeing my husband suffering in my son's hand. So, I kept walking and told them "See you later, if not ended in jail". My son was ready with the stone, and waiting for my husband's permission (thank GOD, he has that manner of seeking permission before doing any activities outside home). My husband, plucked the stone from our son's hand and dropped it, picked him and walked fast from that location, in fear of wasting time running to insurance company and police station.

ohhhh how relax it is to see someone else suffering, especially the who often smiles when I were in trouble and turned mad with the little monster.

Are you Indira Gandhi?

When I were in 7th standard, I had a friend called Meenakshi. She studied in Tamil Medium school till her 6th standard and joined in our class (English Medium) for 7th standard. She was one of the bright students, who used to secure within first 3 ranks till her 6th standard. But due to the change in the medium of education, she got failed in her 7th standard. We all moved to class 8, but she moved to 7th standard Tamil medium as she couldn't cope up with English as her medium of studies.

Few weeks after the school started, I met her during lunch hours to check how she was doing. She was happy asusual (she was one happy queen of our class, who used to take things light and keep moving) and said she was happy to have new friends in her class.

I asked her "Didn't your parents scold you for not passing 7th standard?" She replied, "Yes, they did. Even few of my relatives commented on me. They compared me with all others and asked, am I not feeling shame to get failed when all my friends of my age moved to the next class. But I asked them a question back and they didn't dare to insult me any further".

I got too surprised and was too eager to learn what that question was. She told me that she asked her parents and others, "Even at your age, Indira Gandhi managed to become Prime Minister and Gandhiji managed to become Mahatma. Are you feeling shame that you couldn't achieve like them?"

At that age of 12 or 13, I really couldn't believe that one could able to shut others mouth with logical speaking and keep oneself happy without getting affected by others words. If I were in her place, I might have cried out my life or might have stopped going to school in fear to face others and their criticism.

Pains of NRIs

I'm writing the general opinions of most of the NRIs, as I used to get the details from the discussions which happen during our friends meet here. Few of them are :

1. We might have lived in individual houses with garden and compound walls in India. But now, we live in apartments with single bedroom, congested and small ones. But people back in India (not the one who really knows us) always imagine as if we are living in houses as the ones seen in TV programs (could be Britney Spears house).

2. When you return to India, no matter how close or not, every one who knows you expects a gift from you (atleast a foreign chocolate, if not a perfume). They never mind about the maximum weight (20kg) allowed in airlines. You should some how carried the gift. (But I guess now this mentality is reducing a little, as atleast one person from every home are now NRIs).

3. Once when you landed in a foreign country, you can never say a word about India or anything bad happening there. You are considered as not patriotic. You might have did the same, sitting there in India, but not now. (of course lots of NRIs do show off as if they were born and brought up outside India and never knew the pathetic conditions of India before).

4. The moment you took the flight outside India for a job, you will be considered as "Bill Gates". I mean, one of the richest person in the world. Relations and friends will ask for money / debt and if you are not able to give, then the rest of the happenings (like scolding behind you, spreading rumors about you to others) are left for readers imaginations. They never knew, we spend most of our salary in house rent alone. I guess, since we convert the amount of rent in Indian money and tell them, they imagine the house we live would be like Britney Spears house.

5. Each and every friend and relatives expects YOU to call them and never think that telephone is not FREE for NRIs. That too, they all expect your call on some special days like "New Year" and never accept that we cannot make 100+ calls in a single day. The head ache increases if we called one friend and left another one, where as this two shares the matter in our absence. Thanks to PC - PC calling now. It reduced the burden a bit now.

What you say, NRIs?

This Life - Is it WORTH?

Right from morning, this question is ringing inside me. Is this worth? Reason behind is....

Today morning I called home and spoke to my parents. In between our conversation, dad told that one of our near by neighbour (whom I address as uncle) passed away. Since he was aged and sick for a while, everyone accepted his demise easily. Though it is a great loss for his family, they consoled themselves saying "GOD didn't make him to suffer more". Actually dad passed this news as a "Just FYI" message only.

But I'm yet to come out of it. I felt something missing inside me. I'm not much close to that uncle neither to his family. We just smiled to each other and say a hi, when got chances to meet face to face. But this news made me to recollect the incident happened to me in 2005.

I went to USA for a project completion. Few weeks after I left, my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in India. But since I were alone in USA and coming back was not that easy, my parents didn't inform me about her demise. I loved her (still love her) a lot. So, they thought that, I might broke down and no one around to console. Hence didn't inform me. When I returned back after 8 months, I got shocked by seeing her photo with a garland in the enterance of our home. I have no words now to explain my feelings at that moment, how I fainted and couldn't believe the news. It took a long time for me to believe that my grandma is no more in this world.

My mind is wandering here and there at this moment. When were young (around 10 years old), my chacha met with a very minor accident. But all our relatives came to meet him in hospital and we young people took it as a family get together and played. Now a days, living in foreign nation, we are not only missing to meet people, but also miss to have a final glance of some parting friends and relatives, who leave this world forever.

I'm out of India for the past 3 years. Till date I missed a lot of activities like my own brother's engagement (thank GOD, I got to attend his marriage atleast), my cousin's marriage, my niece's arrival, and so on....

Often I question myself, "Leaving all our relations and loved ones somewhere, is it worth to live a life outside, just for job opportunities and earnings?". Could be "YES" for sometimes and "NO" for sometimes. But, it is painful when we lost some one whom we wish to meet once, when back to home :-(

How dare are you to face Rapiscan?

Thanks to the recent try of a student (on december 25, 2009), to blew the aeroplane off in the air (from Amsterdam to USA), the Rapiscan took its place in airport security check.

To give an intro on Rapiscan, it is the latest scanner system installed in airports, which literally do a naked search on your body, completely. Though the government says that the authorities cannot see your face, a lay man (woman) like me will have doubts like "Do they store these images for any future use?", "How sure are they, that it won't be misused later?", etc...

Authorities are also human beings and so I don't want to believe 100% that they don't think of misusing at any cost. We have seen sick minded people everywhere, like keeping secret cameras in others bathroom or in public toilets, etc...

So is Rapiscan really a boon or curse? Yes, Safety is important, but is our privacy not more important?

I'm sure, I don't have an answer if any of you asks me, what other solutions I can provide for the safety of passengers flying. But then, as a common country woman, I don't like to be searched by a Rapiscan scanner, obviously. Now, seriously I hate to fly and afraid now itself, thinking about my fly for vacations :-(

A Breeze - Flowing through Heart,

My mind kindled the thoughts of my days as a kid and I'm struggling hard to come out of it.

Gone are those days, where summer vaccations were grand great get togethers used to happen. Uncle, Aunty, Cousins, Sisters, Brothers, Grandma, Grandpa (Periyamma, periyappa, chitti, chittappa, athai, maama, periyathaatha, chinnathaatha) and a lot more gathering in our native and celebrating the Amman Festival, visiting near by waterfalls and we kids always found in our coconut farm with the river on the side.

Now our kids know summer camp where swimming and dancing may be taught. Do they know the value of love and care we shared during our young age?

Gone are those days where we address even Periyappa's (Dad's elder brother) son as "Brother" and no one outside our family circle will know whether he is our own brother or cousin brother. Even my close friends were not aware that only two of them are my own brothers and the rest in the list were my cousin brothers until they attended my marriage, where my own brother was holding my husband's hand (as Mapillai thozhan which means Groom's friend of that day).

Now our kids address even the Periyappa (Badi Paapaa) as Dad's brother and not as their own Periyappa.

Gone are those days, where I thought I will remain young and will remain with the same loved people like my brothers, sisters, grandma and all others. But everything faded. I got detached from a old ring and got attached to a new ring. Though the new ring has its own values, I'm not able to come out of the memories of old ring and sometimes think, "Can't I get it back, atleast for few moments?"

There is nothing called "Free Money" to Earn.

Now a days, I often get to see advertisments or contents like "Free Money" or "Earn money for free". It is also the most commonly searched terms all over internet. Most people google for easy and free money. Those could be attractive words, making people fall for that. But those who have capacity to think even for a while, may not get deceived by such coloured words and get hooked.

No one gives money for FREE. There is no business exists in this world without looking for PROFIT. When someone wants to pay you, they will surely look what their benefits are. I don't blame them. Ofcourse, it is mutual give and get. But again, there is nothing free here. You work for their profit and they pay your share for the work done. Nothing is FREE here.

So, never look for words FREE or EASY when you want to earn something online. Instead check for their geniuness like do they really pay (for example, I am ready to tell anywhere with proofs that Digital Bhoomi paid my winning contest CASH prize without any fail so far and that too within a week time), what type of job they expect from you (because some use you as a SPAMMER and spoil your reputation).

Few points to keep in mind.

1. Don't join any site asking for money. They will cheat you.
2. Read their conditions before accepting.
3. Have a separate email id for using in such sites.