The First Separation.

Separation, though a word of pain, is not true always. Sometimes it is a mixed feeling of joy and pain. When a daughter gets married, what the parents have is a separation, which is a pain and joy feeling. So, what I had last week is more or less the same type.

Yes, I left my son in school for the first time. He is just 2.3years old. I used to take him to play schools where mothers can sit and chat with snacks and tea and kids can play around. But last week I took him to a playschool where we have to leave our kids and come back to home.

It is an excellent school with proven track records. They handle kids from 1year old to 5 years old. So there is nothing to worry. Also it is just for 3.5 hours only, that too once or twice in a week. Lots of my friends kids are going there for long time. So, with confidence I took him there.

When the time to leave him there and come back came, I felt something rising from my stomach and travelling towards my throat. But I didn't show anything at that place. I told my son "Amma will come after buying few things for him". Since he was already busy with the toys and new friends there, he waved his hand saying "BYE" happily.

I stepped out of the school. That moment, I cannot forget in my life. I felt the first separation from my son. From his birth to till that moment, I got separated from him only when I go to take bath or toilet. When I reached the tram stop, I felt tears trying to break out. To avoid others watching me, I went to a corner and called my husband in mobile. I told him about what I felt. He laughed and said "Soon days will come, when you ask for schools on saturdays and sundays".

The tram came. I got completely broken down. I ran to a back corner seat. I'm always used to get into the compartment where strollers are allowed. But today, I felt empty handed and empty hearted. When I entered home, I felt the emptiness and loneliness in each and every portion.

Though I know very well about the school, the mind of the mother didn't allow me to sit peacefully. I kept thinking of my son. Will they care him? Will they feed him? Will they change him if he poops? Will any other kids trouble him? Will he cry searching for me? Lots and lots of questions occupied my mind. Though my brain said "Everything is alright", my heart was not ready to listen to anything. I felt restless.

I started early to bring him back home. I nearly ran to the school. When I reached there, the very first sight of my son brought peace and happiness inside me. I rushed towards him, calling his name.

But friends, guess what happened? He gave me a casual look and said "Amma, car", pointing to the car he was holding. Hmmm, boys are always boys :)

But when the teacher told that he searched for me few times and was about cry (but then got distracted by them), I felt "GOD, my son too felt the separation?"